"Of You, It Is Required to Forgive All Men"- Yourself Included!

I've been pondering a ton on repentance lately. It is a crucial part of our lives- not just a one time occurrence, but daily acts of changing and aligning our heart with God.

One of the most important steps of repentance that I believe truly is one of the hardest, comes at the end- being able to forgive yourself after you have brought it all to God. Most of the time, it is much easier said than done. But I am discovering as we come to more fully understand the savior's perfect love for each one of his children, us included, we will understand why we should forgive ourselves. When a gift is given, in this case, the gift of repentance is given because of christ's atonement, the giver of the gift (christ) rejoices when we use it to it's fullest. But if we neglect any portion of the gift, it cause him pain, rejection, and a whole lot of sadness. What would have been the point of his agony and suffering for you- to completely free you of your sins, mistakes, and pains- if you won't allow yourself to be forgiven? I definitely have to learn this one the hard way- but Christ puts it much more eloquently than me in the following account:

In Mosiah 26, the church is experiencing a whole lot of drama. But let's be honest, when is that ever new? The rising generation, too young to understand and internalize king benjamin's sermon, are not converted to the gospel of Christ. Because of their unbelief, their transgressions end up leading even faithful members of the church to mess up- some of them real big time. Alma the younger, the head of the church at the time, had never seen such a crazy amount of falling away before- and was so distraught as to what he needed to do. He knew these people were still children of God, he knew they had eternal worth in God's sight. He was probably nervous about how to go about disciplining them- and ultimately, he wanted to make sure that he was acting properly in the name of God as to what the consequences of their actions would be. The Lord tells Alma, "because thou hast inquired of the transgressor, thou art blessed.  And he that will hear my voice shall be my sheep; and him shall ye receive into the church, and him will I also receive.

For behold, this is my church; whosoever is baptized (taking the sacrament weekly) shall be baptized unto repentance. And whomsoever ye receive shall believe in my name; and him will I freely forgive."

The main reason we covenant with God to take Christ's name on ourselves is to give us the ability to repent when we do mess up. Does God really expect us to never ever make a single mistake after we're baptized? Heck no! He knows we are all mortal, that we all have weaknesses- but He knows through making our individual mistakes, we will come to know the need for our savior personally. He knows through the savior's atonement we will learn through repentance and that we will desire to continue to leave behind the habits and actions that take us away from Him. If we can't forgive ourselves once we have repented, then we are blocking our own eternal progression.

For it is I that taketh upon me the sins of the world; for it is I that hath created them; and it is I that granteth unto him that believeth unto the end a place at my right hand. Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

 And ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses; for verily I say unto you, he that forgiveth not his neighbor’s trespasses when he says that he repents, the same hath brought himself under condemnation."

Honestly, only God can judge the position of the heart. It is our job to introspect our own hearts daily. As we come to better understand the atonement of Christ and its ability to heal and grant us the ability to change, we will better be able to forgive ourselves, and in turn, forgive those who may be following similar paths or just dealing with their own issues.
I know that I have made mistake after mistake in my life. I know there are so many experiences that I cannot even begin to comprehend why God would forgive me for doing it- especially when I feel like I know better. But I have come to learn that I am not my mistakes. I am a daughter of a Heavenly, perfect, whole being. He is a kind, loving, and also a just Father. Because of His love, He created a way for me and each one of His children to experience mercy and change through our savior Jesus Christ: "And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety...only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption." Alma 34:16

If we truly have faith in Jesus Christ, that his power will completely cleanse us of our past mistakes and pains, then our faith will allow us to truly repent- to change and to believe we are forgiven. Isn't is wonderful how each step of the gospel is intertwined? You won't repent if you don't have faith, and you can't fully repent unless you believe in Christ all the way- it's all connected. Once you do change, your repentance will strengthen your faith, and your increasing faith will inspire you to continually repent. I love my Father in Heaven and I know He wants you to continue to draw nearer to Him. One of the most important ways we can do that is remembering to forgive ourselves.

I love you so much!
Emily