Don't Attack the Path I Follow

• Consider myself an ever changing work in progress
• I am a painting that is BEING completed
• When have I ever done a painting "right" on the first try?
• I go back and make it better
• I don't do it in one sitting
• Sometimes I need a break and when I come back  I see things in a different way
• Sermon on the mount not meant to tell us how imperfect we are
• Meant to show us who we can become
• Strive for STEADY improvement
• Mistakes will be made and that's ok!

I read through a talk by Jeffery R. Holland today, called "Be Ye Therefore Perfect- Eventually." Here's one of the quotes that stuck out most to me:

"Leo Tolstoy wrote once of a priest who was criticized by one of his congregants for not living as resolutely as he should, the critic concluding that the principles the erring preacher taught must therefore also be erroneous. In response to that criticism, the priest says: "Look at my life now and compare it to my former life. You will see that I am trying to live out the truth I proclaim." Unable to live up to the high ideals he taught, the priest admits he has failed. But he cries:

Attack me [if you wish,] I do this myself, but [don't] attack...the path I follow...If I know the way home [but] am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way simply because I am staggering from side to side? Do not gleefully shout, 'Look at him!... There he is crawling into a bog!' No, do not gloat, but give...your help [to anyone trying to walk the road back to God.]"

Humans have been and will always been imperfect. Although we are fallen and naturally are inclined to fend for ourselves, abuse power and systems to our advantage, and hurt others in the process- we still have a divine identity that pulls at the back of our souls, brains, and hearts. I believe that's where the good in humanity comes from, and our desire to connect, heal, and help. Otherwise, what drives our connection? What causes us to want to help when we see others struggling?

Just because someone doesn't practice something perfectly doesn't mean what they are practicing isn't true. Take math, for instance. My instructor is passionate, intelligent, and wonderful at connecting subject material with students. Does that mean he completely 100% understands every single facet of the subject. No. There are questions he might not know the answer to. He makes mistakes when he works out a problem on the board. But that doesn't make the principles of math (that we know and understand) any less true. We are human and we are imperfect.

What I really enjoyed about this talk is that we are all on a separate journey. Let's not judge along the way, let's lift and help others. There is already enough struggling going on in the world right now- strive to make it better when and where you can. Focus on your own path. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Make room for growth. Don't get so caught up in being perfect that you miss the entire growth experience. Becoming whole is a steady process, not a one time event. 

And allow others the same love, understanding, and compassion for how they proceed on their own path.

You Are Enough

My goodness gracious! I can't believe it's already April! Where in the world is 2016 going?? Even though it's racing by faster and faster by the day, I am loving every moment of it! The challenges, new learning opportunities, the laughs, struggles, as growing experiences- I so grateful and so happy to be where I am today!

Today I wanted to read over Elder Eyring's talk from The Women's Session of Conference, titled, "Trust in that Spirit, Which Leadeth to Do Good." There were so many wonderful and touching moments from this talk- it's hard to focus on just one! The ideas that stuck out most to me were:

• Love is the greatest quality we can posses (and we don't have to be perfect at it either!)
• Be willing to accept my abilities, weaknesses, strengths, and limitations
• Don't compare myself to others
• Don't compare my service to others
• Be grateful for my capacities
• Be happy with what I am able to accomplish
• Recognize the gifts I have been given, my circumstances, and those who are willing to help around me 
• Be aware of my limits, but acknowledge I am the only one holding me back!

I've been worried about a lot of different things lately- what does the future will hold? Will I measure up to the expectations of those I love and care about? Will I measure up to my own expectations? Just some of the many thoughts I've been mulling over as of late. I was feeling bogged down, and insecure about my inabilities and weaknesses, and after reading this talk, I felt uplifted and reminded that my efforts are valid. I not a perfect being at this time. And that is a-ok, my fine friends. Let me repeat: it is ok to be human. And it's ok to feel what you feel. Some days you're going to feel like you're not measuring up to your own expectations. Some days you are going to doubt yourself. My talents, strengths, and abilities are needed where I am. My efforts are enough, and I know that God accepts my offering. 

It's so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, and self destructive behaviors that lead us to believe we can never change or become better. It's easy to be overwhelmed with thoughts of future events that are out of our control. Even though all of these feelings are very real and often difficult to understand try to move on from, I know that true peace comes from embracing the gospel of Christ. I know that it's through his help that I am able to feel the love and strength I am seeking for right now. I know that Christ loves me for who I am, who I was, and who I want to become. I am so grateful for his kindness and patience with me and my weaknesses. I know that he truly sends the comfort of the Holy Ghost when I am doing all I can to live in harmony with his teachings. The Spirit is able to confirm Christ's love through music, people, scriptures, and so many other ways. I know that as we develop a deeper relationship with Christ, we will naturally want to share that same love, kindness, and compassion with those around us.

Just remember: You are loved. You matter. Your efforts are needed. Keep doing what you can and I know that you will come to see one day that you make more of a difference than you will ever know! Just take things one step at a time, rely on the Lord thru sincere prayer, the study of his word, and living the gospel according your understanding and abilities.

Thanks so much,

Love,

Emily

Ps- This study made me think of the widow's mite from the New Testament- thought I'd share this incredible artist's depiction :) Enjoy!

"And I Should Heal Them"

Hey howdy hey all! It's been a while- I hope all is well with you! I can't believe I'm saying this- after what feels like a life time- I have finally finished the Book of Acts! I'm still working on my goal of reading the New Testament cover to cover, so I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
The other day, my study was focused in Acts 28, where Paul experiences a few fun adventures, such as:

• Surviving a shipwreck on his way home
• Being bitten by a snake soon after said wreck with no trace of poison
• Healing the Chief's father, and soon after, many others of the island he is staying on
• Preaching to more peeps

As you can see, God's got Paul pretty dang busy this last little while. What struck me as I read this chapter, is that the focus all comes back to Christ's ability to heal. In the first story, Paul is telling of his adventures to the islanders, who welcome him and his surviving shipmates, no questions asked. However, in the middle of his story, Paul moves some firewood around and is bitten by a venomous snake! As soon as his hosts observe what has happened, they feel that his misfortune must mean that he has done wrong and is being punished for his transgressions. Expecting his death, they are all shocked to see that the snake's venom did not kill Paul.

The next instance of healing occurs later in his visit with the islanders, when the Chief's father falls seriously ill. Paul is able to heal him in the name of Christ, and in turn, many other islanders are healed through Paul's ministry. Paul and his fellow crew members are able to leave the island with the respect of those who have come in contact with them and part with the necessary items they require for their return journey.

Finally, when Paul is preaching to a different group of people later on the chapter, he quotes the Old Testament prophet, Esaias, saying, "For the heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes have they closed; lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them." (Acts 28:27) Paul indicates that Christ has the ability to spiritually heal these people if they are willing to open their hearts, minds, and entire selves to him, otherwise, they are blind and deaf to the healing of the gospel of Christ.

So what do all of these stories have in common? They all talk about the healing power of the atonement of Christ. Quite a great theme to reflect on as we approach Easter, I must say. The story that really stuck out to me was Paul's encounter with the snake bite. Paul has had an extremely rough couple of years since converting to the gospel and spending his life sharing it with all those he meets. Since starting his ministry, he's been mocked, beaten, unfairly accused and tried, thrown in prison, shipwrecked, and now, bitten by a poisonous snake. My goodness- if I were in his shoes, I'd probably let that be the final straw! I can't imagine going through all of these hardships, and I am amazed that Paul not only survived each one, but he grew closer to the Lord because of his trials.

In the instance with the snake bite, I'm sure Paul still felt the impact of the bite. He was not spared the pain of his experience- and some even blamed him for what happened, assuming he must have done something wrong to bring so many terrible things into his life. Although he was physically hurt by the bite, he was not poisoned. He lived. Similarly, we all have painful experiences or trials we face while in this life. From this story, we learn that although we may feel pain, and even bear scars from those past experiences, they do not have the power to poison us if we rely on the healing power of the atonement of Christ. What a beautiful message!

I know we all have so many different experiences here on earth- some great, some painful, some that leave us feeling broken beyond repair. Whether it's damage caused by our own mistakes, weaknesses, or the imperfections of others around us, we have the opportunity to be healed through Christ and not let these past experiences poison us. Christ was asked to drink a bitter cup and suffer for each one of us, but did not become bitter from his suffering. Because he did that for each of us, we have the ability to have our burdens eased, our pain lightened, and the strength to make it through anything we experience in this life. I know that this is a very special week to focus on the healing power of the atonement of Christ. I love him for all he's done for me in my life and I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to continue to grow closer to him.

Hope you have a great week!

Love,
Emily

"Be Not Afraid...For I am With Thee"

I had a great study in Acts 18- it's a simple idea- but a very powerful one.
I've been working on getting better at my communications skills (probably one of those, it takes a life time to master things or something) and was asking myself, how can I better communicate? When do I know when it's right to speak up and when to listen? When to not say the witty rebuttal you're dying to throw back? And how will I know what to say when I need to speak up? These are questions and issues I've never been extremely comfortable with or able to handle very well, but I feel like I am improving. So that's something.

In Acts 18, Paul has not had much success finding people who are genuinely interested in the gospel. He eventually comes to a city where there are some who are ready to receive the gospel and are soon after baptized. Later that night, Paul receives a vision from the Lord, "Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: For I am with thee, and no man shall set thee to hurt thee: for I have much people in this city." (Acts 18:9&10) Why would God have sent him this message after just having a successful baptism? Paul is still human! What has he experienced at this point?

Paul used to be an antagonist to the church, having been responsible for tearing families apart, and even the death of some members. He is still probably haunted by his past now and then- making it hard to believe people want to hear from him and listen to him. He may also be remembering the traumatic experiences he recently went through, like being publicly beaten without a trial, put in prison with no verdict, etc. God knows exactly what he is feeling and what he is experiencing, and therefore, knows exactly what he needs to hear. He gives him those gentle, loving words of encouragement and gives Paul the hope he needs to keep preaching. Now that Paul has the assurance he needs, he can trust that if he puts his faith in God, he will know what to say and how to say it when the time comes to preach again.

I love both sides of this story- God, being the perfect, whole, loving, and observant parent that he is recognizes Paul needs comfort and assurance in order to keep going. Once Paul receives the comfort, peace, and direction given from the Lord, he is able to speak boldly and bravely, despite any doubts or fears he may have,

Trust in God, and you will know what you need to say, or even what not to say. He will bring you the peace you need when you need it. I know He is aware of everything you are experiencing and will continue to guide you as you seek his help.

Have a great week!
Emily

If Thou Endure It Well

I really enjoyed my study today in Acts 16. At the beginning of this week, the phrase "endure it well" kept coming to my mind. We all have things we struggle with in this life- whether it's personal weaknesses, addiction, the actions of others, illnesses- the list goes on and on- but no one gets through this life without some kind of trial or another. It doesn't matter necessarily what has happened to us or what we've done in the past- what matters is how we decide to act in the now. Will we complain, become bitter, angry, and react to our situation? Or will we become more patient, more empathetic, stronger, and more capable of acting with emotional intelligence? The choice is ours. We won't get it right every time. And that's ok. That's just life. But we can continue to improve with each experience, allowing our trials and struggles to teach us to become the best version of ourselves.

One of the stories in Acts 16 struck me as a great example of learning to endure well. Paul and his companion, Silas, have been directed in a vision to go to a certain city named Philippi (part of Macedonia at the time). They meet a woman named Lydia, who soon chooses to be baptized, along with the rest of her family and friends and they are invited to stay with these great people. Things are going so well.....so naturally that means a trial is right around the corner. That's how they do.
As Paul and Silas continue to preach around this city, they encounter a soothsayer, who makes her bosses real rich with her fortune telling techniques (three guesses how- and I'm guessing it's not through the Holy Ghost). She keeps following them, and finally Paul casts out whatever spirit is enabling her to do her divination. Once her bosses find out, oh boy are they maaaad. There goes the way they make their money! Furious at Paul and Silas, these men capture them, take them to their leaders, and falsely accuse them of disturbing the peace and illegally thrusting their beliefs on the local citizens. Then, without a trial, or verdict, Paul and Silas are publicly beaten and abused, and soon after cast into prison.

I don't know about you, but if I experienced that drastic of a change from- hey we baptized a whole family!- to hey, we just got beat, humiliated, and thrown into jail!- I'd probably be thinking, oh my vision was wrong, God didn't send us here. Instead of growing angry, bitter, resentful, or completely discouraged with the intent of giving up, what do Paul and Silas do while they are in prison? They endure this trial well: "At midnight, Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God..." (Acts 16:25) They were focusing all of their energy on God. Not on how unfair this situation was. Not on how much they wanted to go home, or not be in prison. Not thinking about, how could God let this happen to us?? We were doing everything he asked! No- instead they were thanking Him, and praising Him through song and prayer. What a couple of incredible fellas.
By choosing those actions, they were not only showing God their gratitude for all He did for them, but they were becoming more like Him. Their capacity to wait was increasing, their ability to love and forgive was strengthened- so much that when they were freed from prison (by the power of God), they reached out the jailer and taught him the gospel of Christ.

Woooow. Would you be inclined to forgive the man who had just chained you to the stocks? The man who'd been in charge of guarding you in prison, most likely who had witnessed your public humiliation and pain and had done nothing to stop it? I'd probably not want to be hanging around him once delivered from prison- but Paul and Silas do so much more than expected. Right when it looks as though the prisoners escaped, this man decides to take his life- but is fortunately stopped by Paul. The jailer comes into their cell and asks what he needs to do to be saved, and Paul and Silas invite him to come to Christ through baptism. That same night, this man washes their wounds from earlier, accepts the gospel of Christ, and is baptized. My goodness. Bet they didn't see that one coming! And it doesn't stop there- the jailer and the rest of his household are brought to Christ because of Paul and Silas's choice to endure their trial well. Had they choosen to become angry and bitter- they would not have had the spirit with them to teach this man and help him come unto Christ, along with the rest of his family.

Even though we might not understand why we struggle right in the middle of it all- it will make sense one day. The way we choose to act regardless of our circumstances not only affects our own lives on an individual level- but our actions, behavior, and even countenance will impact everyone we come in contact with. When we learn to endure well, we not only help ourselves - we help everyone. What a beautiful story!

I hope all is well with you!
Much love,
Emily

Balance

Life. It's a balancing act, isn't? And the thing is, I don't feel like it's ever going to get any easier. If anything- the pace will continue to increase, the demands will continue to grow- and I will continue to learn how to give attention to the things that matter most. In other words- BALANCE. What a beautiful concept.
I remember a photo that I fell in love with as a missionary in Florida. I was serving a full time church mission- and let me tell you what- it was probably the most intense time of my life. It felt like there was always so much to accomplish, and never enough time to get it done! There were times that I felt overwhelmed, defeated, like a failure, unable to keep going, and like I was stuck. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out how to meet the demands of missionary life and not just accomplish everything that was expected of me- but to do it all well. Again, in other words, I didn't know how to balance my priorities. As I asked for help through prayer and talking with others around me, I remember one morning coming across an image that I will never forget. A pile of stones, in what seemed like an impossible defiance of gravity, was stacked unevenly on top of on another, stretching up the whole page. I didn't understand how exactly it worked- it looked like the stones should have fallen over- but somehow whoever put it together had found a way to make them work with one another. This person who created this "cairn" of sorts understood that each stone was able to fit in a specific spot that would allow the others to be included. AGAIN- it was all about balance!

I've been thinking a lot lately about why balancing is important- and with everything that is expected of us- whether we are single, married, parents, children, students, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, the list goes on and on- life doesn't let up. There will always be something that is demanding our attention- in fact it's usually several things all at once. And the thing that stuck out to me most (again, something I feel like I really learned from my time in Florida)- there will never be enough time to do everything you want. You make time. You make time for the things that matter most to you. I see that in my own life now, and I saw it time and time again, in my own life as well as the lives of those I encountered. There were families that had two parents working multiple jobs to put food in their children's mouths, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads. They were some of the busiest people I have ever met. But they never let the things they had to do get in the way of the things that mattered most to them: God and their families. Watching these families that had next to nothing physically give their time, energy, and talents when it seemed like they had nothing left was a miracle. They did not forget all of the wonderful things God had done for then. They did not forget where they came from, how hard they had worked to get there, and the vision they had for their family, not just in this life, but in the life to come.

Somehow, they were able to balance it all- work, taking care of their kids, paying their bills, groceries, etc- and still manage to make time for the gospel of Christ in their lives. Why? Why were they able to add even more to do to their plate when they already had so many things demanding their attention? Because God has given us the gospel of Christ to help, not hinder our progression on earth. Sure, living the gospel isn't always easy. In fact, sometimes it feels like a check list if you aren't paying attention to why you are doing what you are doing. But God didn't give us the gospel of Christ to make us feel guilty. He didn't give us the gospel of Christ to make us aware of everything we aren't doing. He gave us this gospel so that we can accomplish great things while we are here in mortality, and so we each have the potential to become like Him. And to become like our Father in Heaven means to become perfect- whole, complete, balanced!

Sometimes it seems like all the things we have to do while living the gospel is a chore, or will get in the way of everything else we have to do. In reality, when we prioritize LIVING the gospel of Christ, I have found that we are enabled to do things far beyond our natural capacity.
As I was thinking over how to achieve balance, not just within my gospel living, my with my entire life, Matthew 6: 33 came to my mind: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself." (33,34)
I've been worried about so many things lately, more than I care to share at the moment- that I'd forgotten such a basic principle- faith. Faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement. Faith that things will work out in his time. Faith that I can change. Faith that others around me can change as well. And faith that if I put my trust in God and prioritize Him in all that I do, He will make up for the rest.

I know that I imperfect. I know that I makes mistakes daily, some bigger than others. I know that I have some habits, behaviors, characteristics that I really would like to change about myself. I know that there a lot of things that I am worried about that are out of my control. I know that I cannot control everything, or know how everything is going to turn out. But I do know that as I put my trust in God, He will help me grow, learn, and become the best I can be as I figure it all out. I know that He is aware of each of his children. I know that He will help you gain whatever it is you feel you're lacking- willpower, the ability to change, the desire to believe, money, time- whatever it is- if you put Him first, he will make up for the rest. I promise you that with all my heart (just remember- it'll be His timing, not yours).

I hope you have a great week!
Emily

"God Knoweth the Heart"

Some thoughts during my study this day in Acts 15. Paul and Barnabas are preaching the gospel to some Gentiles and excitedly return to Jerusalem to officially welcome them into the church. However, once they get back, a group of Pharisees insist that in order for these Gentiles to participate fully in the gospel and receive the blessings, they must first be circumcised and live the law of Moses. Geesh. A little harsh there, fellas.
During this counsel of church leaders, some argue against the Pharisees demands, while others support this idea. Peter stands before them and reminds them of the revelation he received prior to first preaching the gospel to the Gentiles, indicating that the gospel is for EVERYONE now: "and God, which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us; and put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts through faith." (Acts 15:8,9)

To put it simply: God knows everything. He knows the hearts and personalities of each of his children. He understands how each of His children interacts and feels about His other children. He knows each of our strengths and weaknesses. We, however, do not have such a broad perspective and perfect understanding of each and every situation since the dawn of time and then everything that has happened since and will continue to unfold. That being said, God has a plan for each of us. He knows exactly what each of us are capable of while here in mortality and wishes each of us to make the most of our time here on earth. What might be right for one of his children, or one group of people at one time, may not be right for someone else.
For example, the Pharisees are so caught up in their traditions, like circumcision and keeping the law of Moses, that they are completely missing the incredible revelation that is happening right in front of them. Those things were important for their time and served their purpose, but none of that was necessary for the salvation of the Gentiles because Christ had already come to fulfill everything the law of Moses was building up to. It wasn't circumcision that saved the Pharisees. It wasn't the law of Moses that provided their salvation. It was the atonement of Jesus Christ. If the Pharisees really understood the purpose of those traditions, how those outward actions were a symbol of their faith and devotion to Christ, they would understand that God's plan for the Gentiles was different than His plan for them. And they would also understand that the gospel of Christ is always consistently being revealed through living prophets, and that they would continue to learn something new each and every day. Both the Jewish people of that time and the Gentiles would still receive the same blessings from living the gospel. Both groups would still qualify for eternal life through Christ- they would just have a unique, individualized journey on how they would get there.

Eventually, the counsel agreed that the spirit was testifying of Peter's perspective, and they sent a few of the apostles to give the good news to the Gentiles, telling them: "For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things; That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well." (28,29)

When we choose to be a part of the gospel of Christ, we will be asked to live a certain way and change some of our behaviors. Those changes may be easy for some, but more challenging for others. I feel I learned from this study that it is so important to remember that everyone has a unique experience in finding the gospel of Christ, as well as what is expected from them by God. What is right for one of us at one time may not be right for someone else. And that's ok. God knows each of our hearts, he knows our desires, our goals, our dreams, our fears, and each of our capacities here in mortality. Don't worry about everyone else's journey- focus on your own and you'll find more peace, joy, and satisfaction with what you've been given.

I'm so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven that knows and understands each of his children. I know not everything makes sense right now, but I know that He has a specific plan for each of His children to receive all the blessing of the gospel of Christ in His time.

Hope you have a great week!
Emily