Applying the Gospel to Iron-Man and Pitbull: Self-Destructive Tendencies

The newest avenger movie has actually been helping me in my life.  I think there is a reason people are all of a sudden so into superhero movies.  The battle between good and evil, whether external or internal, is raging.  Everyone has their own battles.  And the character of Iron-man is helping me through mine.

But before we get to Iron-man, I want to talk about Pitbull's new song "Time of Our Lives."  I know this seems a little odd...especially because I'm talking about spiritual things here, but just bear with me.  It should make sense by the end.  Let's hope anyways.

Pitbull reminds us that "Everybody's gone through something."  The battle of the song's character is that he has been working so hard (I won't directly quote that part;), but he still can't pay his rent.  In his trial, what does he do?  Despite his stress, he wants to have the time of his life.  So "you roll it up, pour it up, drink it up, throw it up tonight."  Doesn't this perfectly describe what we do in moments of hardship?  When we are feeling restricted by life, whether that is because of others, ourselves, sins, weaknesses, circumstances, we tend to try to exert control over things.  And more often than not, we are exerting control in a self-destructive way.

Now I may not have a problem with "rolling" or "drinking" it up, but I DO have a problem with being self-destructive in other ways.  I tend to emotionally beat myself up.  I tend to overly criticize myself.  I tend to restrict myself on things I know I need the most.  For example, sometimes I know that I've reached my limit on homework, work, computer time, whatever the limit is.  And instead of thinking, I've reached my limit, I need a break, I just keep going.  I don't listen to what my body, mind, spirit, and heart are telling me.

Another example: before my mission, I had a hard time reading my scriptures at times because I didn't really understand why it was important.  My testimony was still developing about them.  Now, I know how good and necessary the scriptures are for me.  And sometimes I won't read my scriptures precisely because I know they are good for me.  A part of me says, "Just do it anyways."  The other part distracts me or restricts me, almost as if I'm punishing myself for just...existing.

I know these sound like small things, but they really make a big difference.  At times I put myself in situations or relationships that deep down I know will hurt me.  Or I give what deep down I know I don't have.  I run faster than I have to strength to do.  I don't give myself a break when I need it.  Little by little, I chip away at myself until I feel I have nothing left.  Until I reach a breaking point.  Sometimes breaking points just happen.  But sometimes we create them.

I still haven't figured out the reason why I do that.  I think that will be my next discovery, but maybe you have some ideas as to why since you've been thinking about this too.  Is it that we want to punish ourselves?  Is it that we are wanting to control destruction?  Is it that we want to control what hurts us?  I think those last two are getting somewhere.

So here is where Iron-man comes in.  Just think about the last Avengers movie for a second.  Ultron is a physical representation of Tony Stark's destructive side.  He thinks that by destroying the world, he is saving the world.  Jarvis, on the other hand, is a healthier, smarter, calmer representation of Tony.  We all have our own Ultron who somehow thinks that by destroying us, he is saving us.  Helping us lead freer, happier lives.  When in reality, he is only leaving us empty, afraid, destroyed, with LESS control.

This Ultron guy reminds me of someone.  As I was reading The Infinite Atonement today, I came a cross a scripture that called Satan "the destroyer" (1 Corinthians 10:10).  Our natural man is ultron.  And we must put off the natural man.  We must overcome Ultron.  And how did the Avengers overcome Ultron?  By working together with...THE VISION.  Our eternal perspective, the gospel, is our ticket to overcoming the natural man.  We must create THE VISTION and hold onto it as we fight our own Ultrons, because without it, we cannot win.

I am so grateful for the power of the Atonement in my own life.  We can overcome our self-destructive tendencies and begin anew every single day.  This life is a process, and sometimes I get frustrated with my own process, but I am learning how to enjoy it as I go and maintain inner peace with my knowledge that despite my own natural man, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can become whole and learn each day to more fully LIVE.

Love ya,

Rachel