Today I had one of the most stressful experiences that I've had in a long time. Basically, today I had a ten page paper due and a presentation. But I hadn't been able to work on the paper very much this week because of all the other homework assignments I was doing plus work. In between classes today, I worked on it, and I had about an hour to do a whole boatload of work. Well, I work diligently, and I find myself astonished at how much I'm getting done and how quickly it seems to be coming. I definitely could feel God helping me, an answer to my million prayers of this week with me asking if He can help me make it through the craziness and not get too stressed. At 12:45, I save my paper and exit out of it, ready to attach it to my email and send it in to my professor (it was due at 12:59). After clicking the attachment button, nothing pops up. I can't find my paper anywhere. It has disappeared from the computer all together! I try not to panic, as I walk to the help desk. "Oh hey, so my paper disappeared. Could you help me find it?" A very nice guy comes to battle out the stress with me. We were both looking at the time, and frantically trying to find where on earth my paper had gone. I prayed in my heart over and over. And just tried to breathe deeply, so I wouldn't start crying or fainting or something. Finally, an idea popped in my head. Let's look at files by date. After a couple of minutes of searching, we found my paper which had been saved in the weirdest place on the computer. Even typing in the name in the search box hadn't worked, and after my prayer, all of a sudden it turns up. I resaved the paper as "Miracle" on the computer, sent it to my professor a minute early, and ran to class.
I just want to thank God for helping me. I also want to thank Him for testing me, because I do feel that it was a test. In one of my most stressful moments, something went on. But it strengthened my ability to trust in God. In my moment of stress, I did freak out a little bit. Yet I took that anxiety and stress to God. I told Him, "Hey God, I've been working hard. I've been trying to do what You have asked. And I am currently stressed out of my mind, just trying to survive. I know You can do miracles and can help me with this crazy thing that happened. Will you?" I prayed knowing that whatever happened would be right and that even if it was lost, God would help me get compassion from my professor or something and just rewrite it. Our moments of trial really stretch us and help us get closer to God. The trust we build is such a peaceful feeling. I believe that a peaceful interior is built upon trust in God. There is no other way to get lasting peace. I'm working on overcoming some fears that keep trying to get me. And I'm working on growing in faith and trust. I'm trying to learn how to be calm DURING the storm. I'm trying to remember that Christ is in my boat DURING the storm while learning how to overcome my fears. I know that God loves me and will give me exactly what I need to do it. He tried my faith in a lot of little ways today, but I feel good about what happened because even though I didn't handle it perfectly, I chose to do the right thing.
I just wanted to send you this story to give some comfort during these next two crazy weeks. And also leave you with this lovely scripture that was a good reminder to me:
"Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end.
Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." (D&C 10:4-5)
We don't need to do things quickly or just get them done. God wants us to have a balance and be diligent. I feel that this is very applicable to finals week. I'm trying to not let my perfectionist side overtake me as I write a billion pages and study for my final exams...I can only do what I can do. And I can trust that God will help me. If I pray to Him constantly, I'll come off conqueror! I have felt Satan trying to play off of my fears in a lot of different ways these past couple of months. But I'm learning how to overcome his new tactics, and I just need to remember that if I'm being obedient and especially if I'm praying, I can't fail. I may mess up. But I won't fail.
I love you Emily!!
Rachel
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