Is God pleased with my efforts? Am I doing something wrong if I am struggling? How can I make things better (more enjoyable, more peace, etc in my day to day life?) I feel a lot of my questions were answered when reading Richard G Scott's, "The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Trial".
I feel there have been quite a few things piling on lately that have made me feel isolated, uncomfortable, confused, and even angry. I do consider myself a highly emotional person compared to others around me, but I don't feel like I usually feel that way all at once about multiple things. Such is life thought- there are ups and down, plateaus, and dramatic crescendos, peaks, and all other sorts of experiences. Lately, there have been things that I've seen as unfair (both new and old issues), as well as things that I've not had to really think about before. Now that I am where I am, it is difficult to wrap my head around each one of these issues without becoming upset for one reason or another. Although I feel confused and unable to come to any one conclusion, I have found that as I am willing to completely open my heart to God and ask for His help, I am able to find peace in this storm of emotions.
These ideas definitely stuck out to me as I was reading and reflecting on where I am now:
- "[God's] plan of happiness is conceived so that we will have challenges, even difficulties, where decisions of great importance must be made so that we can grow, develop, and succeed in this mortal probation."
- Be patient, and understand that God will LET me struggle TO GROW
- Faith rooted in Christ= most stable source of peace, joy, and purpose while here in mortality
- "Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith
- Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong
- It doesn't mean you don't deserve help
- PERSPECTIVE- how will this challenge help me progress?
I think it all comes down to having the knowledge that God loves me. If I remember that He loves me, my strengths, my weaknesses, my goals, my experiences- ALL of me- then I will recognize that, like any loving parent, he will let me struggle and make mistakes in order for me to learn for myself. I know that He is aware of everything that I'm feeling right now, and I know that He has always heard my concerns, my pain, and any other emotion in the past. I know I've received very specific answers before, even though they weren't what I was expecting, or in the timing I would have chosen- but they've been better and more profound than anything I could have put together if I had done it myself.
I know that if I continue to be honest with Him and continue to open up through prayer, write down my experiences, and live according to my understanding, all will be well and I will receive the peace I am looking for.
Thanks so much and I hope you have a great week!
Emily
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